They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
