soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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