Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
