I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
