apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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