The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
