Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
