Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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