I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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