I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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