brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
worst night to have a conscience
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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