do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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