Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
