hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize