Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
