dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
