can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
