"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
