soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
