Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
