one two three fourrrrnication!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
