Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
