like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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