he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Drunk is not a location!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
