I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
