CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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