I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
