Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize