the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize