I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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