Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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