thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
