i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
