My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
