I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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