stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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