I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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