Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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