The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
