No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
