We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
