The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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