So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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