He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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