so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize