I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
