chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
