singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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