i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Congratulations! We have a period
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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