i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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