I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
