I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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