a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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