look no pants
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
