I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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