The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
