You're completely useless in the revolution.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
