doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
