Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
