i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
