every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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