We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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