I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
