you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
