put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
