week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
