drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I won't apologize to a one balled man
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
