who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
