Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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