thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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