seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
