Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
