Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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