Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm passing your future prison.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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