I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
