last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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