ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
