kristin has been a bad kristin
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Randomize