she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
